“You do not shape the world around you, you let the world shape you to the world you want to be part of”
“The question isn’t really whether Japan is right for you. It’s whether you are right for Japan.
Do you have the patience and openness to let yourself be shaped by an alternate way of experiencing the world?
Would you still be happy living here, contributing to the system once the things that first excited you lose their appeal?
Do you understand your sacrifices and non-negotiable?
Are you willing to let your identity evolve in ways that may be uncomfortable or invisible for years?
Because if you can accept the resistance, Japan becomes a mirror. It reflects who you are and what you value and where your limits really lie.
And that’s the real question.
Not just whether Japan will accept you, but whether you can accept the version of yourself that Japan slowly makes you become.”
Well, I couldn’t really put that into words for a while, but this resonated so much with my own experience.
Some of the people who leaves after a while are the ones who can’t accept that change. It can be after a few weeks, it can be after 5, 10, 15 years.
They don’t accept that things get eventually dull, normal, mundane. The konbinis, the neon lights, the jingles everywhere, cleanliness, the pop culture and cuteness, everything that was once a delight becomes ordinary.
They don’t accept to challenge their idealised perception of Japan and its daily life.
They don’t accept the hardships, the necessity of learning the language, customs and politics.
They don’t accept to involve themselves in learning a whole new culture (ups and downs), and then complain about isolation.
They don’t accept people will not change at the same pace, they don’t accept a different point of view or way of life. They are miserable and so should you.
They don’t accept the process of evolving, changing, becoming someone else. Most people don’t really change after middle school, actually, but immersion in a different culture requires adaptation.
They see themselves leaving the honey moon phase, stumble on the depression phase and get stuck in it. They grow bitter, angry, resentful. They show scorn for the newcomers who are still discovering how’s life here, they’re snobs and know-it-all.
They were there before.
They know.
I gathered buckets of bitter-venom from these people, mostly online because, you know, courage is kind of old-fashioned somehow. I have been insulted randomly by some angry white men outside because reasons.
Each question I had, typical of a newcomer, received sarcasm and hostile behaviour. Of course, in their fledgling times, they were happy to get some help, but they closed the door behind them.
I am not the only one who can recall these encounters. I am quite used to that, being who I am, but it’s not normal.
Acceptance and change is the key.
Moving and settle a new life in a so different country is not easy. You face a whole new world and you must grow anew as well.
Devant l’obstacle, on se révèle.
But isn’t it the very essence of life? I can’t imagine to pass a day without learning, growing, challenging myself. Maybe that’s why I feel better in Japan: it an everyday challenge and I fully embrace that.